His Master's Voice
by Athena Leigh
Summary: ObiWan has to come to terms with the loss of his Master, and he might even get a little help from one who cares about him. Not slash.
1. For You

The yellow sun was setting over Naboo. The longest day of Obi-Wan's life was almost over, almost; the funeral was in a couple hours.  
  
Before Obi-Wan paced the old Jedi Master Yoda. They were in this chamber to speak of great matters, decisions which could affect the future of the whole galaxy. But first, Obi-Wan had a question for the wise one.  
  
"Why?"  
  
Yoda stopped and turned to him, clear green eyes looking straight at the kneeling Padawan. "Why taken your Master the Force has?" Obi-Wan nodded. "Sacrifice himself Qui-Gon did."  
  
All Jedi knew that they might have to give their lives for the needs of others and were fully willing to do so, but the knowledge did not ease Obi-Wan's mind and it was certainly not a surprise.  
  
As if reading Obi-Wan's thoughts, Yoda said, "Sacrifice himself for Naboo, Qui-Gon did not. Fight for Naboo, he did. For you, he died, to save you."  
  
Obi-Wan did not understand what the little Master meant. Qui-Gon had died fighting the Sith during the battle of Naboo. Obi-Wan did not see how Qui-Gon had saved him. He was not even a part of the fighting when the final blow was struck. It did not make sense to him.  
  
Yoda sighed and turned away. "A vision, all on the Council had after return to Naboo you did. In it a Sith and two Jedi, one dead, one survived. Believe we do, had this vision Qui-Gon also did. Choose death for himself he did, so you would be the one left."  
  
Obi-Wan was very much shocked at this. He had not known of this. His Master did not often have visions, but that was the least surprising. Thinking back reluctantly, he remembered Qui-Gon kneeling in meditation, when they were all caught in the forcefields, bright red separating him from his mentor. Just before the generators whirred off, he had felt his Master's mental shields slam up, blocking him. Not the best way to fight cooperatively he had thought at the time. Then Qui-Gon had rushed forth, not waiting for his Padawan to catch up.  
  
Now Obi-Wan thought he understood. That was when Qui-Gon had seen it; that was when he had chosen to give himself so that Obi-Wan would live. He had blocked his mind so the younger Jedi would not know of his intentions.  
  
Then when he had held his wounded Master, as those large but very gentle fingers brushed his cheek, through their bond he had heard whispered, _For you_. He had not understood it and had forgotten it until now. Now Obi-Wan knew what it meant. His Master, who had taught him for so many years and was father to him, had died for his beloved Padawan.  
  
"He shouldn't have done that," Obi-Wan barely managed to get out, emotions overwhelming him.  
  
"Leave you to die, should he have?" Yoda hobbled over and lay a clawed hand on Obi-Wan's knee. "Find peace you must. Change the past you cannot, but to forget it would also not be wise."  
  
Obi-Wan breathed in deeply and closed his eyes. He knew many Jedi calming techniques and employed one. This new knowledge was difficult to deal with, but he would not let it overwhelm him. He would not shame his Master... former Master, by crying, not here and not now at least.  
  
Once calm, he looked at Yoda and returned to other matters, the pain of his loss pushed aside for the business at hand, the here and now. 


	2. Remember

I watch you as you lie in bed, your sobs muffled in your pillow, and know that this pain is my fault. You cry for me because you love me, and I am gone.  
  
I am so sorry I had to make that choice and leave you to this pain. If you had known, you would not have let me, you would not have thought yourself worthy, but there was no time and the decision was mine. I did it for you. You are capable of so much love, and so many other great things. You must survive.  
  
I should not have let you love me, but I needed your love. I was selfish. I would not deceive myself by thinking you needed mine as well. I never deserved your love, but nevertheless you loved me, and now you must suffer through this alone. You hurt so much because you loved me so much, and I loved you equally.  
  
You are asleep now, and the Force lets me come to you. I sit on your bedside and gather you in my arms. I gaze down at your beautiful face; even as you sleep tears slide down your cheeks. I wipe them gently away, but still they come. "Master," you cry, as if you know I am here. _Shh, my Obi-Wan, rest_, I say, and my voice is a breath on the wind. You settle against what would be my chest, and I gently rock you as I always did.  
  
Oh, how I wish I could make you feel better, but I have just this night, I can only hold you a little while. I look still at your face, so beautiful, my beautiful boy, beauty undimmed by the crystal tears tracing down your soft cheeks. I love you so much, child. Remember that. When you have nothing else and it seems even the Force has left you, remember you have love.  
  
I smile as your tears subside. You never could cry for long when I held you. Who will hold you now that I am gone? I know you will let no one near you. You think you are grown now so you will be strong. I know that you still need someone there for you. I do not want to see you lonely or hurt.  
  
You and I are bonded. It has always been that way, since the moment I held you, though I did not know it then. You are not alone. Our bond is unbreakable, though you think it is gone, it is still there, keeping us together.  
  
It is almost morning and I must go. I wish I could stay forever, but I cannot. We will be together again soon enough. I softly stroke your cheek one last time before I lay you back down and kiss your troubled brow. _I love you, my son_, the wind whispers in your ear. _Remember, I am always with you._ I stand to leave, looking back at you again.  
  
As I fade away, I hear you mutter in your sleep, "I love you, Master."  
  
_I know. I love you, little one, always._


End file.
